I knew I wanted to do something special to break the news to Deryck but just didn't know what. I'm a firm believer that once-in-a-lifetime moments like getting engaged or telling your sperm donor, I mean partner, you're pregnant, should be private between the two people so there was no way in hell I was going to film the moment and put it on Facebook. I thought "Well I could always get him a quirky "The Man Behind the Bump'' tshirt or surprise him with cute baby booties, but ahhhh just nothing felt right.
About a week ago came across this company called @downbythesea in White Rock that makes special pebble and seaglass portrait pieces.
I instantly messaged the owner Rebecca to see if she could make me a pregnancy announcement one that would have Deryck, me, our dog Sam, cat Lududs, and a little rock baby in my tummy. Rebecca was so excited and couldn't wait to do the design for us. Only thing is, orders take two weeks to complete, so for the next two weeks I had to somehow find a way to keep the pregnancy a secret from Deryck. With the warm, beer drinking weather officially open us, there's nothing Deryck and me like to do more on weekends than hit up our local watering hole in Langley, or enjoy some brewskies in the backyard. Damn, keeping it on the DL was going to be harder than I thought!
Over the next two weeks I discovered I'm an amazing liar (add THAT to the resume!) Throw anything at me, I'll knock it out of the park. For a good two weeks or so Deryck threw everything at me that you can imagine " "Man your boobs are getting big!", or "Why haven't you gotten your period yet?, and "Want a drag of this cigarette"? Without a beat my mind would somehow instantly come up with a random excuse like "Oh yeah, the baboombas are getting big, damn, period must be around the corner" to "Sorry, can't drink for the next few weeks, gotta keep the system healthy for Mr. spermy". I thought for sure Deryck would be onto me but then again women's bodies and our cycles are so complex, men are confused on a good day ha. The only time I thought he knew for sure was when we went out to a pub and I ordered a ginger ale. Any one who knows me knows I can chug back a dark ale like nobody's business, love me some beer! When I ordered a lame ass pop I thought for sure Deryck would turn to me and say "Dude, screw the baby stuff, just have a beer" but thank god it never happened.
Finally after two weeks of keeping it in, Deryck came home from a fishing trip, exhausted and hungover. What better time to surprise him with lifechanging news! I excitedly handed him the rock piece all wrapped up in paper and watched him start to unwrap him. "There's no way he's not gonna get it," I thought to myself. Boy was I wrong.
The minute Deryck opened it up, he looked up at me, looked back down at the piece and said "awww thanks" and carried on unpacking from the trip. WTF mate? How could it have gone right over his head?I tried again. "Do you notice anything?" I said. He looked back down, his face lighting up a bit more this time,"Oh yeah, it's the whole family. Me, you, Sam, and Ludus." Hmmmmm and here I thought I was the blonde! "Well do you notice anything inside my belly?" I said, pregnancy hormones starting to pulse through me, on the verge of tears. "Oh yeah, a little baby inside the tummy, so cute," Deryck replied.
What the f*ck is happening! I couldn't figure out why it wasn't connecting, Deryck later telling me he thought the piece was some sort of "vision board" I had made, on how I wanted our family to look one day aka a baby on the way. Eeeeew, who does that!
Finally I shouted "There's a baby in the tummy because I'm PREGNANT!" Finally, we had made contact, Deryck giving me a look of complete terror that honestly in our two and a half years together, I'd never seen before.
For a good 30 seconds he stoo there in shock, saying nothing. I could just feel the wheels slowly turning until finally he smiled, laughed, and gave me a huge hug. "We're going to be parents!" we yelled together!!
Second though to follow - What the f*ck have have we done?!