Baby Irmen on the Way!
So....I'm pregnant! I can't believe the words as I'm typing it, but there is in fact a little baby Irmen in my belly! I honestly am so surprised how quickly we conceived. Ever since we cancelled our September wedding due to COVID-19 we've been toying with the idea of just putting off the wedding for a few years and having a baby instead. However it wasn't until a few months ago when we were watching TV I turned to Deryck and said "So, that baby thing. We gonna do it or not? If we are, we best get going 'cause this uterus ain't getting any younger!" Deryck said "Sure, if that is what baby wants, that is what baby gets". The next day I downloaded the 'Clue' app where It asked me to input the dates of my last six periods and voila! Within seconds there staring back at me was a custom pregnancy roadmap to follow where each month it tells you the best days to get pregnant i.e your "fertile window". Seriously monkeys could use this thing, there really isn't much um, thinking required;)
The first month we tried every other day, when low and behold two weeks later aunt flow reared her big ugly head. Seriously!?! Feeling defeated I decided to watch 'Sex Explained' on Netflix that was all about baby conception. To be honest I wasn't really getting a whole lot out of it until this 90 year old doctor looked straight into the camera and said "The best way to have a baby? Have sex everyday for a week" Well ok doc! I excitedly rushed upstairs to tell Deryck our new plan and he, surprisingly, was up for the task;) Six of the following days of the week Deryck completed said task. On that sixth day he said "we shall rest" and "there was no need for further task". He told me that he was confident the deed was done and that the seventh day was for rest. Well..... Two weeks later I woke up on the Friday I was supposed to get my period. I looked down low and be hold....you gotta be kidding me, I think he did it! Dry as a desert! Since I've always had a pretty stable period cycle I had a pretty good hunch that this guy wasn't all about talk, we just may have made a baby! I ran to Shoppers to buy a pregnancy test. Just to be safe I bought a two-pack pregnancy test - hey if I have to give up alcohol for nine months I want to be 100% sure this thing is legit. I was so anxious to take the test, the minute I bought it I ran into the Shopper's Drug Mart washroom to dive into my first "pee passage" experience. Now, this next sentence is going to sound so ridiculous, I bet you won't believe it but after I had gone pee in the toilet, I proceeded to dip the test into the bowl/ Yes, the toilet bowl itself. And yes, all those scenes in movies of women peeing on a stick like a normal human being apparently went right over my head and for still no idea why to this day I tested the strip in the bowl. Low and behold two minutes later a single pink line appeared = not pregnant. "Damn!" I thought. Oh well, back to chugging IPAs. Flash forward 20 minutes later. I'm driving home when it hits me. "Oh my god, the bowl! What is wrong with me!" Luckily I had bought a double pack pregnancy test so I knew I had one last shot to get it right. I raced home, and bolted upstairs, determined to do it right this time. I then proceeded to pee directly on the stick, wait the full two a half minutes, turned it over and oh my god....there staring back at me were two bright pink lines that would change our lives forever.
I did it! I took a proper! pee test! And oh yeah...I'm going to be a Mom! For a good five minutes I just stood in the bathroom in shock. I am freakin' pregnant! Now - how on earth am I going to tell Daddio?